from the lol-lmao-even dept
We’re all familiar with what grand juries should be able to do to the proverbial ham sandwich. But in Washington DC — the unwilling host of Donald Trump’s martial law test run — federal prosecutors can’t even get an indictment to stick the person throwing the sandwich.
Federal prosecutors on Tuesday were unable to persuade a grand jury to approve a felony indictment against a man who threw a sandwich at a federal agent on the streets of Washington this month, according to two people familiar with the matter.
The grand jury’s rejection of the felony charge was a remarkable failure by the U.S. attorney’s office in Washington and the second time in recent days that a majority of grand jurors refused to vote to indict a person accused of felony assault on a federal agent.
We’re witnessing an ultra-rare form of grand jury nullification, which seems to be far less organized and far more organic than jury nullification efforts seen during trials in open courts. Grand juries aren’t usually in the business of pitching shutouts to prosecutors, given that they’re only asked whether or not they agree the prosecutors’ one-sided presentation might add up to potential criminal charges.
Now, with local hero/hero-thrower Sean Dunn dodging federal charges (while also losing his federal paycheck), the Trump DOJ — as represented (loudly!) by AG Pam Bondi and DC US Attorney Jeanine Pirro — has strung together nothing but a whole lot of embarrassment ever since the administration decided the District of Columbia was incapable of policing itself.
Judges handling trumped-up (why yes possibly intentional pun!) federal charges are (similarly loudly) expressing their disgust with this administration’s shitty totalitarian take on “justice.” DC grand juries — comprised of people who seem less than impressed with Trump’s takeover of the city — continue to frustrate federal prosecutors by no-billing a lot of the assault cases being presented to them by the soulless, vindictive opportunists that still remain on the DOJ payroll.
When federal law enforcement officers aren’t undercutting protections with their continual lies and misrepresentations, grand juries in cities overrun by federal law enforcement officers are now regularly rejecting the ridiculous “assault” allegations being dumped on their collective desk by prosecutors who have abandoned discretion entirely so as not to displease the angry man who signs their paychecks and runs the government almost exclusively via Executive Orders and Truth Social posts.
This situation seems to be getting worse for Trump’s frothy prosecutors with each passing day. Here’s a recent Reuters report, which covers yet another highly-embarrassing, literal strikeout by federal prosecutors in another case they seemed to feel would give them a “win” to gloat about:
Federal prosecutors failed three times to persuade a grand jury to indict a woman accused of assaulting an FBI agent during an immigration operation in Washington, D.C., last month, a highly unusual failure as President Donald Trump’s administration seeks to aggressively charge street crime in the nation’s capital.
Three different federal grand juries declined to indict Sydney Reid for assaulting, resisting, or impeding officers, prosecutors disclosed in a court filing late on Monday. Prosecutors then downgraded the offense to a misdemeanor.
I can only hope that these prosecutors are busy scrubbing their resumes of any mentions of these failed prosecutions. I mean, it’s obvious they’re eventually going to be fired for failing to rack up a bunch of wins for the administration. But it’s going to be a lot harder to explain to future employers that the reason you’re looking for work is because you weren’t quite good enough at fascism to continue to be retained by your former employer. And very few law firms or public entities are going to be willing to hire someone Trump fired because that’s the sort of thing that leads to being targeted by extremely specific Executive Orders.
I’d say something pithy like “you made your bed, now lie in it,” but chances are you’re not even going to have that bed for long, no matter how much effort you put into making it. But if it’s any comfort, I’m sure there are plenty of employment opportunities out there, now that pretty much any occupation with extremely long hours and/or unpleasant working conditions is suffering unprecedented manpower shortages. Grab those bootstraps, bootlickers. If you want to serve an aspiring tyrant, go right ahead. Just do it on your dime from now on.
Filed Under: doj, donald trump, federal officers, grand jury, jeanine pirro, martial law, pam bondi, sean dunn, trump administration, washington dc
