Donald Trump’s second presidency has been on a downward spiral ever since he exploded at a question regarding the Epstein List, and started calling it a Democratic Party “hoax.” His Justice Department told the public, presumably with a straight face, that there was no Epstein List. Move along, nothing to see here.
Since I last wrote about our Giant Orange hero, he attempted to deflect criticism of the Epstein List comments ( with Trump becoming perhaps the world’s first Epstein Denier), and his Attorney General suddenly started talking smack about another of our beloved presidents, Barack Obama. Supposedly, Obama was about to be charged with treason, or something like that. Not sure which of the horrific acts they were going to prosecute him for; I heard nothing about the murder of a wedding party in Yemen, for instance, but there was a lot to choose from. But there the story ends. As it always does. File it with the $5,000 DOGE refund, or the dismantling of the IRS. You don’t have to be black pilled to understand that Obama is not going to be prosecuted any more than income taxes for those earning under $200,000 are going to be abolished (another of the countless populist Trumpenstein proposals).
But recently, rumors have begun to circulate that Donald Trump is a very sick man. Very, very sick. Those who make predictions, unlike me, have claimed he only has six months or so to live. This cyber diagnosis is based primarily on long range closeups of his swollen ankles and mysterious makeup on his hand. Sounds pretty serious to me. Some even have suggested he’s already dead, and been replaced by a clone. Now, it would admittedly be hard to find a clone like that; with unique orangish skin and the most creative hairdo in the history of politics. It is unknown if this clone is equipped with the orange micro-penis that millions of devoted haters insists that he must have. No Trump duplicate can be without it. This clone has done a pretty good job of mimicking Trump’s head shaking oratory. He/It can repeat the same phrase over and over again, and say “unbelievable” every other word, just as well as the original. Who knows? Maybe the clone will be better at keeping promises.
We’ve been down this rabbit hole before. When Jimmy Carter was president, one of the more interesting left-wing “conspiracy theorists,” Peter Beter, insisted that he’d been replaced shortly after the election. His evidence revolved around Carter abruptly parting his hair on the other side. Well, maybe he thought it looked more presidential? There were many allegations about Joe Biden. He, too, was said to be dead, dying, or cloned. To be fair, he provided a lot of ammunition for such accusations; shaking hands with empty air, wandering aimlessly like a lost patient at the local rest home, and speaking even more incomprehensibly than Trump ever has. During the 2016 primaries, predictions were that Hillary Clinton was deathly ill. There were pictures of her being rushed into an ambulance. When she seemed to recover fully from her near death experience, it was suggested that she, too, had been replaced by a clone. Or maybe executed at Gizmo. I get confused sometimes.
You’re going to have these kinds of theories when your leaders become as old as ours are. Trump is 79, and Biden is even older. Has Trump been wearing a catheter bag? Did Biden crap his pants? Or maybe that was Trump. Perhaps both of them. A female world leader was recently photographed figuratively holding her nose while sitting next to Trump. Of course, this was because his Depends hadn’t been changed. You have to admit that Trump has quite a spring in his step for a guy his age, who is saddled by both a catheter and an adult diaper. This would seemingly interfere with his ability to have that affair with the much younger, hard core Zionist Laura Loomer. Which we were assured some months ago was definitely happening. Well, maybe his Depends didn’t smell as bad then. Why has Trump continually been connected to this kind of stuff? Remember the whole imaginary “golden showers” dossier?
Regardless, someone who looks and sounds just like Trump has been doing some pretty non-MAGA things lately. His whole law enforcement fetish has exploded now, with the National Guard patrolling Washington, D.C., and supposedly doing what the police there couldn’t or wouldn’t do. You could perhaps make a case for that, given that until Home Rule was established in 1973, our nation’s capital was run by the federal government. But now Trump is talking about Chicago, and then perhaps other cities that are crime ridden. Not because of Democrats on a nonstop crime spree, as gutless conservative “influencers” would describe it, but because of Black thugs on a nonstop crime spree. For the country’s most renowned “racist,” Trump does a remarkable job of restraining himself from identifying the racial minority group that is responsible for all of the street crime in Washington, D.C. And Chicago, for that matter. Well, I suppose they probably are Democrats as well.
Today, stories are breaking saying that Trump is proclaiming that his tariffs could replace income taxes. Again. He did say this before, after all. It was somewhere between ending the IRS and scrapping the Department of Education. Which is still up and running, I believe. I wonder if he’s more serious this time. I’m still waiting for those new factories to be constructed here. You know, to provide a bit of domestic industry to compete with the foreign products that are being tariffed. Maybe Tulsi Gabbard will now hold a second press conference, as she did over a month ago, to announce the imminent arrest of Barack Obama. I guess it all depends on the meaning of the word “imminent.” I can’t even speculate on what RFK, Jr. is really doing. What poisons have been removed from the food and water? What exactly is the truth about his efforts on vaccines? Maybe I should check with Rabbi Shmuley.
Other America First things Trumpenstein is doing include burying a study showing a link between alcohol and cancer. That’s odd, given Trump’s very vocal teetotaling lifestyle. Imagine what he’d do with a study linking cancer to his precious Diet Coke. And Trump is digging in deeper on his inexplicable Epstein stance. His Epstein Denial shown through clearly as he reacted to the disclosure efforts of Congress’s best member, Thomas Massie (who Trump, of course, loathes) by declaring, “This is a Democrat hoax that never ends…they’re trying to get people to talk about something that’s totally irrelevant to the success that we’ve had as a nation since I’ve been president.” Just who is that supposed to appeal to? It’s almost as if Trump is an actor, hired to play the part of a fake populist rebel, and is now bizarrely trying to make himself look guilty. You could refer to it as the Trumpenstein Project.
Trump has also been mysteriously mentioning heaven a lot lately. He said recently, “I want to try and get to heaven, if possible. I’m hearing I’m not doing well. I hear I’m really at the bottom of the totem pole.” Say what you will about him, but no other president has ever talked like this. In 1990, Trump told Playboy magazine in an interview, “I don’t believe in reincarnation- heaven or hell- but we go someplace.” Not exactly the sentiments of a real Christian, but how many loud Christians walk the walk? I’m sure his most faithful MAGA backers could rationalize this, not to mention all the other un-Christian debris from his past. Can the email being mentioned on conspiracy forums, which begins with “I want to try to make it to heaven,” and closes with “Send $15,” possibly be real? This whole grifter aspect of Trumpenstein’s character has really gotten out of control. Like Jim Carrey’s wild overacting.
