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It’s a TARP! – Kevin D. Williamson

I like alternative-timeline movies for their funny little details, like that scene in Watchmen when two former superheroes are reminiscing about how their lives were derailed by Richard Nixon, still president and essentially a dictator in this imaginary version of the 1980s. “To think, I voted for that prick five times,” says the grizzled old veteran. His younger interlocutor shrugs: “Hey, it was him or the commies, right?

We live on the dumbest timeline. I know this because millions of Americans believed that they had to vote for Donald Trump to avert a national descent into socialism—“It was him or the commies, right?”—and so they sent the malignant little criminal back to the White House, where he went about . . . setting up state-owned enterprises in order to seize the means of production on behalf of the workers. It’s still more Idiocracy than Watchmen or 1984, but it’s all in the mix. If it were a series of shorts, it would be called Way More Than Three Stooges.

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