Last week, the popular rapper Zuby, who has amassed a significant following on social media as a self-described “epitome of toxic positivity,” posted an article titled “My Honest Advice For Gen Z Men.” He includes 12 life tips for young men from his perspective as a “successful Millennial.” The article is actually quite good and I recommend young men read it. But as Catholics, we can go deeper. So here’s my advice specifically for young Catholic men, based on my own experiences as a GenX man as well as observation of what works in men I admire. Of course, these are general tips that should be (must be) adapted to each person’s particular situation and state of life.
1) Make Catholicism the Center of Your Life
This one should be obvious, but it bears placing at the top of the list. In literally everything you do, your Catholic Faith must take precedence. This applies to decisions large and small. In deciding what college or field of work to pursue, in choosing a wife, in deciding where to live—Catholicism must come first. It should also be the basis for your weekly and daily routine, as we’ll see in some of the upcoming bits of advice.
Over the years I’ve seen too many Catholic men who sincerely believe, but they slide into a pattern of life in which Catholicism is not prioritized. When they reach their forties, they then realize that their life choices have made it more difficult to pass on the faith to their children, or even to practice it themselves. Perhaps they took a job that undermined their practice of the faith, and now they feel as if they can’t escape the grind to be more serious about Catholicism. Or they chose a wife that didn’t prioritize being Catholic and now the children are being led astray. Or they sent their children to a Catholic school which normalized a “beige” Catholicism.
Above all, put Catholicism first.
2) Rise Early and Be Disciplined
There’s something magical about the early hours of the day, when it’s still dark and most people are still sleeping. Monks have always known this: they rise extremely early, and the longest prayers of the Divine Office are the first ones of the day. Get in a habit of rising early (before 6 a.m.) and don’t hit that snooze alarm. Rising right when your alarm clock goes off is an excellent first penance of the day (see Tip #4).
After rising early, continue with a disciplined routine throughout the day. Don’t check your phone when you wake up; instead, spend the first hour of your day in prayer (see Tip #3). Only after that time of prayer should you allow yourself to look at a screen. Create a regular daily routine (as much as your state of life allows): eat at the same times, and most importantly, sleep at the same times. Discipline in the time of retiring for the night is the necessary corollary of early rising.
If you don’t have a disciplined routine, it will be almost impossible to follow much of the rest of this advice.
3) Pray Regularly
A saint is a man of prayer, and if you want to be a saint (hint: you should), you must pray. This means, first and foremost, that you start each day with an hour of prayer, as I’ve already mentioned. What if you only pray 5-10 minutes a day right now? Then increase the amount of time you spend praying by 5 minutes each week until you reach one hour a day. This is the time allotment that’s been recommended by spiritual advisors and saints for centuries.
What do you do during this hour? There are a lot of options, but I would recommend including the Divine Office (Liturgy of the Hours), Scriptural reading, mental prayer, and the Rosary. Experiment with what works for you until you have made it a good and fruitful habit.
And, that first hour of the day should not be the only time you pray. Insert short times of prayer throughout the day; perhaps say the Angelus every day at noon, and the Divine Mercy Chaplet at 3 p.m. Your state of life will help determine the exact practices you follow. Be sure also to end your day in prayer, making an examination of conscience before your head hits the pillow.
4) Do Penance Regularly
Nothing is more neglected in modern Catholicism than penance. In fact, we tend to look with horror on stories of ancient saints using the discipline or engaging in vigorous fasts. The problem is not with them, but with us. Our Faith revolves around a man who was brutally tortured and killed for our salvation and who asked us to take up our own crosses to follow Him; surely, penance should be central to our practice of discipleship.
Young men in particular are called to penance, since in general young men are the most physically healthy people in society and so can handle severe penances. They are also the most willing to do physically demanding tasks for a greater good. So while all Catholics should do penance, young men should be leaders on this front.
What type of penances should one undertake? Again, a person’s state of life must be taken into account. And as St. Josemaría Escrivá advised, “Choose mortifications that don’t mortify others.” In other words, if your penance makes you uncharitable to others or generally unpleasant to be around, you need to rethink what you are doing.
But don’t be a wimp or make excuses: penances are supposed to be hard. A few examples of penances: fasting for at least 24 hours at a time, cold showers, a pebble in your shoe, and giving up coffee and/or sugar. Fasting is the most common form of penance for good reason: it’s easy to incorporate into almost any state of life since it primarily involves not doing something rather than doing something (and of course it imitates Our Lord in the desert).
Finally, we’re not stoics simply enduring hardships; our penances should be united in prayer to Christ for our salvation and the salvation of others.
5) Take Care of Your Body
Although the Catholic Faith is incarnational, it took me far too long to realize the deep connection between body and soul. For years I didn’t understand that one’s physical health can directly impact one’s spiritual health. I’m not talking about illness or injury, which can be an opportunity for spiritual growth, but the malaise and fog that accompanies a modern lifestyle of sitting in front of a screen all day and engaging in almost no physical activity. That way of living leads to both physical and spiritual death.
Young men need to be as physically active as possible. I don’t mean you should be a gym rat who stares in the mirror all day flexing. But it’s not healthy to be sitting at a desk all day, every day (I realize this is much harder in some jobs than others, but consider that when choosing a career). At the very minimum walk at least 20 minutes a day and do some basic strength training at least three times a week. Even better, run and/or ruck a few times a week, which has the added benefit of getting you outside, which is good for both your mind and your body.
Taking care of your body also means you are disciplined about what goes into your bodies. We’re surrounded by things that weaken the body: energy drinks, cigarettes, zin, junk food, et. al. Not only do they enfeeble the body, many of them also pacify the mind, making it more submissive to the spirit of the age.
You don’t need a gym membership to take care of your body, just the discipline to be consistent with exercise and what you eat (see Tip #2).
6) Attend the TLM If You Can
This is likely to be my most controversial bit of advice, but I think it’s so important I can’t leave it out. Anyone who attends a traditional Latin Mass regularly can speak of a particular phenomenon: it usually is filled with many more young men than attend regular Novus Ordo parish Masses. This is no coincidence. The reality is that the TLM is far more attractive to young men because it’s frankly just more masculine. It allows a man to worship God without the effeminate energy that too often dominates the typical celebration of the Novus Ordo. By being more demanding, the TLM speaks to the soul of young men in a way not found anywhere else in today’s culture (or today’s Church). It more clearly calls him to become a soldier for the King of Kings and Lord of Lords.
I realize not every young man has regular access to a TLM nearby. If you don’t, at least make an effort to attend a TLM a few times a year, or even consider moving closer to a regular TLM. It’s worth it.
